Research Brief
A recording for this session isn't published. Below is the BPI editorial brief — key takeaways, an in-depth summary, and FAQs drawn from the original session materials and the presenter's body of work.
Presenter
Richard Boyatzis, Ph.D.
**You’re trying to help. But are you actually helping?**
Description
No matter who you are, helping others is a good thing. Often, as a leader, manager, doctor, teacher or coach, it’s your job. But when we attempt to help others, the truth is we often focus on trying to “fix” them, correcting problems or filling the gaps between where they are and where we think they should be. Unfortunately, this doesn’t work well, if at all, to motivate sustained learning or positive change. Even when a person does respond, they often do so out of a sense of obligation rather than inner motivation. There’s a better way. In this BPI Talk, Emotional Intelligence expert Richard Boyatzis presents a message of hope. The way to help people to learn and change, Boyatzis argues, cannot be focused primarily on problems that need to be addressed, but rather, must connect to a person’s positive vision of themselves, to an inspiring dream or goal they’ve long held. This is what great coaches do – they know that humans draw energy from such visions and dreams, which sustains our efforts to change, even through difficult times. This talk will forever change the way coaches, managers, teachers, parents, and all of us think about and practice what we do when we try to help.
Key Takeaways
- 1.Attempting to "fix" people by correcting their problems is an ineffective way to help them change.
- 2.Focusing on problems and gaps does not motivate sustained learning or positive change in others.
- 3.Change driven by a sense of obligation lacks the inner motivation required for long-term success.
- 4.A better approach to helping people change is to connect to their positive personal vision, dreams, or goals.
- 5.Great coaches energize people by tapping into their inspiring personal dreams, which sustains effort through difficulties.
- 6.Coaching with compassion is a more effective method for managers, teachers, parents, and leaders to foster growth.
The Problem with How We Try to Help
Many of us—whether we are leaders, managers, teachers, or coaches—believe that helping others means "fixing" them. We identify their problems, point out the gaps between where they are and where we think they should be, and offer solutions. While well-intentioned, this approach to helping is fundamentally flawed.
Why 'Fixing' People Fails
According to emotional intelligence expert Richard Boyatzis, Ph.D., focusing on problems to correct perceived deficits does not work for motivating sustained learning or positive change. When people do respond to this method, they often act out of a sense of obligation rather than from their own inner motivation. This can lead to compliance in the short term, but it rarely results in lasting personal growth.
A Better Approach: Coaching with Compassion
Dr. Boyatzis presents a more effective, evidence-based alternative: coaching with compassion. This method shifts the focus away from problems and instead connects with a person’s positive vision for themselves. It involves engaging with their long-held dreams and inspiring goals.
The Power of a Positive Vision
Great coaches understand that human beings draw immense energy from their dreams and aspirations. By tapping into this positive vision, a coach can help someone access the inner motivation needed to sustain the hard work of change, even through difficult periods. This internal drive is the key to fostering lifelong learning and meaningful growth.
This presentation will permanently alter how coaches, managers, and anyone in a helping role thinks about and practices their craft.
This session explores the nuanced art of helping people change, focusing on coaching with compassion as a cornerstone for fostering lifelong learning and sustained growth. It delves into the processes that truly enable individuals to transform, moving beyond traditional deficit-based approaches to development.
What you'll learn
- The fundamental principles behind effective, compassionate coaching strategies.
- How to differentiate between helping that enables and helping that hinders personal growth.
- Techniques for inspiring individuals to engage in their own ongoing learning journey.
- The role of emotional intelligence and positive emotional attractors in facilitating change.
- Methods for cultivating a supportive environment that encourages sustainable development.
Who this webinar is for
- Leaders and managers looking to enhance their team development skills.
- HR professionals and organizational development specialists.
- Coaches seeking to deepen their understanding and practice of compassionate coaching.
- Anyone interested in fostering personal and professional growth in others.
- Individuals committed to cultivating a culture of continuous learning within their organizations.
Why it matters now
In a rapidly evolving world, the ability to adapt and learn continuously is paramount. Leaders who can effectively guide and support their teams through change, rather than merely directing them, create more resilient and innovative organizations. Compassionate coaching moves beyond superficial fixes, addressing the deeper human elements required for genuine transformation and sustained engagement, which is critical for navigating complexity and driving future success.
How leaders can apply this
Leaders can immediately integrate compassionate coaching by shifting their focus from telling people what to do to helping them discover their own path to improvement. This involves:
- Listening actively and empathetically: Understand the individual's perspective and aspirations.
- Focusing on strengths and possibilities: Highlight positive emotional attractors that inspire change.
- Encouraging self-reflection and personal vision: Help individuals articulate their ideal self and connect change to deep-seated values.
- Providing supportive feedback: Frame feedback in a way that builds confidence and promotes learning, rather than criticism.
- Championing continuous learning: Foster an environment where experimentation, iteration, and growth are celebrated as norms.
- Building trust and psychological safety: Create a space where vulnerability is accepted, and individuals feel safe to explore new behaviors without fear of judgment.
About this session
Key takeaways
Watching this webinar gives you grounded, practical perspective on workplace culture. Expect ideas you can use in leadership conversations, not abstract theory, drawn from Richard Boyatzis, Ph.D.'s direct experience.
Who this is for
CHROs, HR business partners, talent leaders, executive coaches, organizational development practitioners, and senior leaders who are responsible for workplace culture inside their organization.
Why it matters now
Workforce expectations, hybrid work patterns, and AI-driven change keep raising the bar on culture and leadership. Sessions like this help leaders make smarter, more evidence-informed decisions about workplace culture.
How to apply it
Use the ideas here to challenge a current assumption on your team, design a single concrete experiment in the next 30 days, and bring one finding back to your leadership group for discussion.